The past few days have left me wondering how do you confront friends? It is relatively easy to stand up to one's enemies - to defend yourself from attack, to be on your guard, and to meet dislike with mutual dislike. However, how do you knowingly enter conflict with beloved people when it is absolutely necessary for the sake of your self and for the sake of your friendship?
We tend to draw lines in our lives; lines that if crossed, trigger a defensive response. When it comes to friends and family, the line is a little less clear and the response a little less aggressive. After all, we love these people and expect them to know the lines just as well as we ourselves do. We expect our friends to give of themselves just as we give of ourselves... a relationship of give and take, compromise, and, at times, sacrifice. How else are we to become a part of each other?
When one party refuses to give, the friendship suffers and evolves into something unhealthy. It is said that anger, yelling, and even arguing are signs of a healthy relationship where both parties care, but we are often hesitant to explore these emotions and outlets in our friendships. We ignore the problem and silently fume to ourselves, which plants the seed of bitter resentment. So, perhaps in the long run it is best to fight, to yell, to introduce your friendship to conflict in order to save it. Funny how life works.
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